I spent this past weekend with one of my favorite people in the world in an all out Britney Spears themed bachelorette party. When I say full out, I mean, FULL OUT!
Each of the guests picked a different Britney to be. We each put a lot of love and effort into our outfits and the bride to be was over the moon with joy. She shrieked when we broke out in a flashmob to one of her favorite songs (which we ended up doing at every bar we hit up throughout the weekend!).
Now, the reason why I tell you all this is because when seven women dress up like different Britney's and hit the Castro District of San Francisco -- oh honey, it's on!
Now, I was somewhat prepared for the attention, oooo's and aaaaaaah's, and people wanting to take our pictures. What I wasn't necessarily prepared for was the level to which my ability to set boundaries was going to be tested.
Almost from the get go, people came up and would grab my arm to maneuver me into a position for a photo, demand that we pose a certain way, want to tell their entire life story to me or particularly the bride to be (she's "Circus" Britney - the one with the blond hair)!
At one point, one woman was being so intrusive that I had to pull her aside and tell her that I needed to get my friend home, that her saying whatever she wanted to say wasn't my priority, I love you as a human being, but you've got to step off!
This is one of the moments in my life when I was so so glad that I've done a lot of work to become comfortable saying no, making specific and clear requests of people, and feeling empowered to take care of me and those I care about even if people get their feelings hurt.
I promise you, had I faced these "boundary leaks" years ago, I wouldn't have known what to do and wouldn't have had the confidence and power to speak up.
As survivors of abuse and trauma, finding our voices and setting boundaries can be challenging, and I share this story with you to let you know it is not impossible -- and it can come in handy in some very unexpected ways!
To our voices,
Almost from the get go, people came up and would grab my arm to maneuver me into a position for a photo, demand that we pose a certain way, want to tell their entire life story to me or particularly the bride to be (she's "Circus" Britney - the one with the blond hair)!
At one point, one woman was being so intrusive that I had to pull her aside and tell her that I needed to get my friend home, that her saying whatever she wanted to say wasn't my priority, I love you as a human being, but you've got to step off!
This is one of the moments in my life when I was so so glad that I've done a lot of work to become comfortable saying no, making specific and clear requests of people, and feeling empowered to take care of me and those I care about even if people get their feelings hurt.
I promise you, had I faced these "boundary leaks" years ago, I wouldn't have known what to do and wouldn't have had the confidence and power to speak up.
As survivors of abuse and trauma, finding our voices and setting boundaries can be challenging, and I share this story with you to let you know it is not impossible -- and it can come in handy in some very unexpected ways!
To our voices,
P.S. If you missed my Master Class on "How to Set Boundaries & Communicate with Ease" you can get the mp3 download for just $10 now!
Watch to learn why good boundaries set you free!
Read how abuse causes the brain to be wired for fear.
What is one boundary you could set today that would bring you more freedom?
BOOK OF THE MONTH
Releasing Your Authentic Self:
A Daily Guide to Help Child Abuse and Trauma Survivors Rediscover Themselves
by Svava Brooks
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live your life as the awesome person you used to be before child abuse and trauma shattered your world? If so, Releasing Your Authentic Self: A Daily Guide to Help Child Abuse and Trauma Survivors Rediscover Themselves is the tool you’ve been searching for. Child abuse teaches you to hide the real you (your authentic self). The exercises in this book were designed to help you release that incredible part of yourself. Finally, you’ll have everything you need to begin this amazing journey of rediscovery!
UPCOMING EVENTS
Join Me for This Free Webinar!
TAKING CHARGE OF YOUR TRAUMA BRAIN
September 19th, 9:00a PT / 12:00p ET
I am so excited to be teaming up with Frances Goodall from The Women's Wellness Circle to bring you this very special event.
During this interactive workshop and Q&A, I will share about the key turning point in my own journey when I realized I didn't have to spend the rest of my life in recovery.
With my guidance, you will:
* Explore the impact that focus has on our ability to heal from abuseDuring this interactive workshop and Q&A, I will share about the key turning point in my own journey when I realized I didn't have to spend the rest of my life in recovery.
With my guidance, you will:
* Discover the #1 point of focus that is keeping you stuck and frustrated
* Learn key strategies to retrain the brain, heal the nervous system, and put an end to PTSD
September Topic:
Special Guest, Donna Jenson joins us to
lead us in a powerful workshop!
Honoring and Using Our Voices
What we have to say is important. What we have to say is well worth being honored.
One way we honor each other’s voices is by actively listening to each other’s writing. This act of listening, in and of itself both confirms and affirms each narrator that what they have to say is worthy of our undivided attention. And when our circle goes one step further to tell the narrator what has stayed with us from a piece of writing they are given the profound message that their voice has been received and heard.
Come join us to discover what we each have to express in a timed and guided writing process and share what was written, if you so choose, within a supportive group of survivors.
One way we honor each other’s voices is by actively listening to each other’s writing. This act of listening, in and of itself both confirms and affirms each narrator that what they have to say is worthy of our undivided attention. And when our circle goes one step further to tell the narrator what has stayed with us from a piece of writing they are given the profound message that their voice has been received and heard.
Come join us to discover what we each have to express in a timed and guided writing process and share what was written, if you so choose, within a supportive group of survivors.
Rachel Grant, M.A. Counseling Psychology
Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach
415.484.5682
www.rachelgrantcoaching.com
"What you think, you create"
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