October 2017: Do you sometimes just get sick of life?

William Edward Hartpole Lecky, a historian, once said, "There are times in the lives of most of us when we would have given all the world to be as we were but yesterday, though that yesterday had passed over us unappreciated and unenjoyed." This he noted in his book, The Map of Life in 1904! Wow! A map of life ... I'm so curious as to what the whole book says, perhaps I'll take up reading it ... you can join me - it's online: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/26334/26334-h/26334-h.htm Back to the quote though - I love Lecky's not so subtle reminder that this day we are living may seem bland, uneventful, repetitious, and, yet, with one shift tomorrow, would instead be longed for. We often hear admonitions to live "now" - in the present - it's even one of my 12 Commandments ("Don't miss this moment"), but Lecky's statement brings a reason as to why into high relief for me. Beyond the usual points that you'll miss out on what you could otherwise experience, lose out on opportunities to connect with others or learn something ... Lecky's thought on the matter causes me to reconsider my repetitive, boring days to be something altogether different. Namely - peace, ease, and comfort. Days to be appreciated and enjoyed - even in their monotony. In other words, it's very easy to connect with "now" when I'm standing on the beach inhaling a beautiful sunset. These sorts of experiences call on us to pause, to just be. But what about when I'm at the sink washing the dishes, maybe feeling annoyed at the repetition of this chore and that it's keeping me from something I really want to be doing. And yet, if tomorrow I were in an accident and lost my arms (I know, a touch morbid!), how I might long to be able to wash the dishes again! And to bring the point even more home, when I think back to a time in my life when I couldn't even get up to wash the dishes because I was so consumed by depression -- how easily now I take for granted and even resent this task that is in some ways a powerful representation of my healing! So, for today (and hopefully days to come), I'll take comfort in the repetitions of my day, enjoy the stability of routines, and look for the little moments that distinguish this day from the others. In celebration of all facets of life,     Watch Jill Tolles talk about the courage to have conversations about sexual abuse. Read this article to learn how yoga can help you improve your sex life. What are some ways you can practice being present and appreciate even those things that seem mundane this week?

BOOK OF THE MONTH   Boys Cry Too: A Story of Hope, Forgiveness, Redemption and Change by John Mark Clubb   As a boy growing up in Louisville, Kentucky, John endured years of sexual abuse by his father, a former Baptist minister. John tried to find refuge in the regimentation of a military career and in multiple marriages, but his efforts to deal with the trauma of his experiences led him on a self-destructive path that left a trail of broken people and dreams. His life continued its downward spiral until he reached the ultimate bottom. . .and began his journey toward forgiveness of his abusers and, finally, himself. This memoir is a groundbreaking account, from a man's perspective, of the effects of sexual abuse on all aspects of the victim's life. John speaks out about the details of his abuse and the family culture that enabled generations of abusers to victimize its children. His searing openness throws a spotlight on the darkly kept secrets of childhood sexual abuse, and his story will serve as an inspiration to everyone who longs to embrace their own healing journeys. READ MORE HERE!   October's Theme: Triggers Triggers are something we’ve all had to deal with as survivors of childhood sexual abuse and can occur anytime something in our current environment reminds us of the past. As survivors, it’s important when we’re feeling “crazy” to ask if we may have been triggered and by what. Learn More & Register Here Rachel Grant, M.A. Counseling Psychology Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach 415.484.5682 www.rachelgrantcoaching.com "What you think, you create"

September 2017: Do you know how to create happiness?

Gretchen Rubin, in her book The Happiness Project, sets out to discover ways to be happier. As she begins thinking about what sorts of resolutions she'll make to improve different areas of her life, she notices some "overarching principles" that play a significant part in her "happiness quotient"- and names these principles her "Twelve Commandments." I was intrigued by this idea - and so set about writing my own list - here they are: 1. Be good to myself and others 2. Love outrageously 3. Stop holding my breath 4. Smile at strangers 5. Say it out loud 6. Be hardcore 7. Stay in touch 8. Don’t miss this moment 9. Have great adventures 10. Don’t wait for things to be perfect 11. Laugh deep belly laughs 12. Relish being wrong Coming up with this list wasn't a complete breeze. I had to pause often to decide whether a commandment was really something I believed in or was inspired by or whether it was based on some external expectation. I loved doing it though. Sometimes, the fastest path to happiness is to first define what it actually looks like for you! To more happiness,     Watch Dr. Vincent Felitti share about his journey developing the Adverse Childhood Effects study. Read this tribute to the sexual abuse survivor depicted in the movie Spotlight. What are your 12 Commandments - what principles underpin your life - hold you, guide you, inspire you and increase your happiness!??

BOOK OF THE MONTH   The Ancestral Mind by Gregg Jacobs   "A significant cause of our current condition is our over-reliance on the Thinking Mind and our disconnection from the Ancestral Mind. The Thinking Mind-the rational, self-conscious mind-is responsible for our great technological achievements, but is also the root cause of the unhealthy stresses of modern life and excessive negative emotions. The Ancestral Mind-our older, more unconscious, emotional mind-represents a deeper, wiser guide to well-being and is the source of a more integrated concept of self, an expanded sense of daily awareness, powerful positive emotions, and healthy mind/body interactions." READ MORE HERE!   September's Theme: Authority Figures Genuine authority is something that is earned by virtue of a person’s experience and expertise. As survivors our experience with authority is skewed due to being overpowered and controlled. Learn More & Register Here Rachel Grant, M.A. Counseling Psychology Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach 415.484.5682 www.rachelgrantcoaching.com "What you think, you create"