Tuesday, December 26, 2017

January 2018: Are you struggling to find meaning in the new year?


Happy 2018!

It's inevitable as we turn the corner into a new year, that we will reflect upon our journey so far (the wins and losses), and we will look ahead to the future and try to crystallize for ourselves some vision of what might come.

Underlying this ability (and ultimately willingness) to look ahead is hope. Without hope, we fall into despair or resignation.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately, as I've been rereading "Hope: The Art of Living" by Stan Van Hooft with one of my clients. I came across one of my favorite quotes again that I'd like to share with you:

"There is always a gap between our intentions and the achievement of what we intend, which our efforts may not overcome. There is always the possibility of failure. Our intentions cannot bridge the gap. We do not have complete control over our circumstances. Accordingly, our hope bridges the gap."

This quote always takes me back to my early 30s, when I was at the edge of hope and despair and a decision was on the horizon. Give in to resignation or not.

I had made some great strides in my healing, but ultimately, when I looked at my life, I couldn't see a future that was meaningful or fulfilling. I couldn't find the joy in living, the meaning or purpose of it --I was seriously stuck!

And then, as often happens in my life (I guess it's the English major in me), I sought out guidance from literature and came across Van Hooft's book.


This was the beginning of my new relationship to hope, my deeper understanding of it as being at the root of all change, healing, and transformation.

A year later, I was testing out the first Beyond Surviving group for women!

So, ultimately, I share this story with you today as my greatest hope for you is that you press on -- even in the face of failures and unknowns, even when it seems it's all pointless -- you never know what might be right around the corner waiting for you.

Perhaps 2018 is your year to break free, to reclaim your life, and to move forward into a new journey that isn't just about recovering from the past but is about painting a future that brings you joy. And so I leave you to step into this new year with another quote:

"Hopefulness is an essential ingredient of joyfulness. To live life with joy is to be able to project the promise of a hopeful future for oneself and for others. Life is full of surprises. The hopeful person sees this as a source of joy while the pessimist sees it as a threat. The pessimist fears the new and the strange, while the hopeful person accepts and delights in it. In this way, hopefulness becomes a constituent of courage, trust and tolerance as well as of joy and love."



To a hopeful 2018,


 
 

Listen to this fun and funky song about hope by Jain




Read about Beth, a survivor of childhood abuse who went from wanting to kill her parents to a thriving and successful live!


What brings you hope?

BOOK OF THE MONTH
 
You Can Be Happy No Matter What
by Richard Carlson

 
In this revised edition, #1 New York Times bestselling author and nationally known stress-management consultant Dr. Richard Carlson reveals a profound breakthrough in human psychology. Most of us believe that our happiness depends on outside circumstances, that by solving our problems, improving our relationships, or achieving success we will find contentment. But Dr. Carlson clearly shows that happiness has nothing to do with forces beyond our control — in fact, he says, it is our natural state.

Having a hard time feeling hopeful?

Check out this free 3-part Audio Course



 
 


January's Theme: Breaking the Silence

One of the many reasons it’s so difficult to break the silence is the many negative messages we receive about ourselves. It’s a wonder we ever tell anyone about the abuse. But tonight, even if you don’t share, come join us in breaking the silence.




Learn More & Register Here


Rachel Grant, M.A. Counseling Psychology
Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach
415.484.5682
www.rachelgrantcoaching.com
"What you think, you create"

Monday, December 4, 2017

December 2017: Happy Holidays!


Wishing You a Happy Holiday and New Year!

Whoa! The end of 2017 snuck up on me! I guess it really is true that time flies by as we get older. This past year has been an important one for me on many levels, but I want to share one key learning I've gained during 2017.

Every year, in January, I choose a theme for the year. This year, my word was "cushiony"! I wanted to focus on creating more space in my daily routines, work with clients, social activities, and create more time for just "being". (By the way, one of my clients shared with me a 
great little book along these lines.)

One day, I was l lounging in my backyard enjoying my garden (when did I become a gardener! how did that happen!). Needless to say, I have come to enjoy this time outside and began to treasure more and more the quiet pleasure of standing in my garden tending to living things.

As some time passed, I found myself thinking about how many hours were left in the day? Wasn't it nice to have nothing on the calendar for the rest of the day, so I could laze about and do nothing?

And then I wondered, "What if the nothing was actually everything! What if this time of just being, soaking in the sounds, the wind, the breeze, the smell of the flowers from the garden -- what if that was actually everything?!"

Our lives become so busy that we seek this "nothingness" as a way to reprieve ourselves from the day-to-day pressures and stresses and ups and downs and often think of the "nothing time" as a time to tune out, to escape.

That day, I realized that this frame needs to shift. There's an opportunity to experience everything, to transform what was once "nothing". These moments hold the opportunity to pause and take note of all there is to gain. I was able to tune into the experience of "being" instead of "doing".

I also realized that as I sat there calling this time "nothing", there was this part of me that would push back and say, "Well you better get up to something then! Be productive, get busy, get something done" andimmediately all of the peace and ease that I was experiencing in that moment of everything was made bad and wrong and taken away.

As I practiced what I teach my clients -- pay attention to your thoughts, pay attention to the language you use, to pay attention to what you are out to prove -- I decided to change my language and my focus, and this moment of nothing became a moment of everything!

I treasure this year of cushion and have so much to celebrate, because even while I made more time for myself, this year:

  • Over 50 people completed the Beyond Surviving Program and are now doing wonderful things like starting a family, stepping out as speakers and advocates for survivors, building new businesses, starting graduate school, and developing deeper relationships.
  • I expanded my Healing from Sexual Abuse Facebook Group(now more than 3700 members) and built a great team to support me in making this (I think!) one of the best groups for survivors on Facebook today! www.facebook.com/groups/realtalkwithrachel
  • With the help of my amazing team, I delivered 4 Master Classeson various topics such as shame, fear, anxiety, abandonment and more!

Looking to 2018, I am branching out and taking on some new projects! Here’s what I’ve got in mind for the New Year:
  • Continue development of programs for medical professionals about screening for abuse;
  • Expand my impact through partnering with various non-profits;
  • Add peer support as a new component for my group programs;
  • … and even more!

Most importantly, I want you to know that I couldn't have done any of it without your amazing and ongoing support. I’m in an incredible community and hope that you have been touched, inspired, and healed by something we shared this year.

So, with deep gratitude, my wish for you is that your holiday and 2018 are filled with joy, love, laughter, and strength.

With much love,


* post dunk in 410' waterfall!


* march against unlawful deportation
of immigrants with my honey