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Monday, December 31, 2018
January 2019: It's a new year. Is it time for a new you?
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
December 2018: Wishing You a Happy Holiday & New Year!
Wishing You a Happy Holiday and New Year!
As 2018 comes to end, I wanted to send a note of gratitude to YOU!
When I started this journey back in 2007 in a little room with just two women, I had no idea the path that was set before me to travel. I had no idea how much developing this program and running a business was going to demand of me. I also had no idea how rewarding and fulfilling it would be to work with clients everyday, supporting them in restoring their lives.
As I reflect on this journey, I am very present to the fact that I could not have accomplished any of this with out your support and encouragement. So above and beyond anything else that I'd like to share with you today, the most important thing I want to say is...
When I started this journey back in 2007 in a little room with just two women, I had no idea the path that was set before me to travel. I had no idea how much developing this program and running a business was going to demand of me. I also had no idea how rewarding and fulfilling it would be to work with clients everyday, supporting them in restoring their lives.
As I reflect on this journey, I am very present to the fact that I could not have accomplished any of this with out your support and encouragement. So above and beyond anything else that I'd like to share with you today, the most important thing I want to say is...
For those of you who have been following me for awhile, you know that every January I pick a theme for the year. My theme for 2018 was "GROWTH" -- and man was this ever a case of be careful what you wish for!
Here are just a few ways that I've grown this year:
- I presented at the #MeToo Moves Forward Conference and the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests Conferencealong with doing various live workshops in the Bay Area. Stepping out in this big way has definitely been an opportunity to develop new skills, face new challenges, and experience what it's like to stand in front of a room full of survivors and tell my story and share my perspective on healing. I'm looking forward to doing more live workshops and presentations in 2019!
- I was able, due to the growth of my group and one-on-one work, to transition my 28-Day Boot Camp for the Brain self-study program into a pay what you can program so that this foundations course is now even more accessible. www.rachelgrantcoaching.com/bootcamp
- Based on the prompting of some of my graduates, I developed a newBeyond Surviving 2.0 Group Program for Graduates that will launch in January 2019. I am excited to take on this new level of work and way of working with my graduates.
- I successfully launched a Beyond Surviving Group Program for Men and am looking forward to running this program again in April 2019. www.rachelgrantcoaching.com/group-program-men
- I hired the first ever Beyond Surviving Coach, Jocelyn, who works with group members to support them in more fully integrating what they are learning in the program (and so much more!). This was probably one of the biggest stretches for me this year as it was a bit like handing over my baby to someone. Yet, this was also one of my favorite ways that I grew this year as it was a first step towards expanding the impact and long-term endurance of Beyond Surviving.
Each year brings with it more surprises, challenges, and opportunities, and as I turn the corner and start my 12th year in business (say what!?), I am so curious to see what 2019 will bring!
With deep gratitude, my wish for you is that your holiday and 2019 are filled with joy, love, laughter, and strength.
With much love,
IN PARTNERSHIP WITH...
One such organization is The Human Awareness Institute (HAI Global), a 50-year-old organization dedicated to producing life-changing workshops and trainings for individuals looking to transform and to experience more connected, intimate relationships.
Every human being is worthy of love, without exception. At HAI, they walk alongside you as you explore the possibilities of a life of your choosing — a life enriched by self-acceptance, love, and a deep sense of belonging.
I highly recommend you check them out and if you're in the Bay Area, participate in their next introductory workshop, Connecting in Love, February 22nd – 24th, 2019 at the Wildwood Retreat Center in Northern California.
BOOK OF THE MONTH
In Soaring Above the Ashes: Thriving Beyond Childhood Sexual Abuse, a diverse group of survivors tell their stories in their own voices. They describe the journey from helplessness to empowerment, from isolation to connection, from grief to joy. By giving their names, telling their stories, and showing their faces in black and white portraits, these men and women defy the perpetrators who could not shame or threaten them into silence. These individuals are proud of who they have become. Between the stories are essays Dr. Samuelson wrote about her own healing journey as a survivor who recovered her memories and as a psychologist who has specialized in treating trauma for over 35 years.
Upcoming Events
Now Enrolling...
Join Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach, Rachel Grant for this down-to-earth
and transformational group program!
My Beyond Surviving Program is my in-depth program of live coaching calls and support that teach you how to finally be free of the past and move on with your life.
It's for you if you want step-by-step support to reliably and consistently navigate life with clarity and ease.
This program is designed for all types of survivors who are sick and tired of going around the same mountain over and over again and who want to learn specific tools and skills for transforming their lives.
In the Beyond Surviving program, I've combined what I have learned through my own journey of recovery from sexual abuse, my study of neuroscience, my training in counseling psychology, and my experience working with hundreds of clients. I have included every lesson, exercise, worksheet, client example, and training module that has made a difference for me and my clients into this program.
We use my guidebook, Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse, as the roadmap through seven modules that address the critical areas of life that are impacted by abuse.
It's for you if you want step-by-step support to reliably and consistently navigate life with clarity and ease.
This program is designed for all types of survivors who are sick and tired of going around the same mountain over and over again and who want to learn specific tools and skills for transforming their lives.
In the Beyond Surviving program, I've combined what I have learned through my own journey of recovery from sexual abuse, my study of neuroscience, my training in counseling psychology, and my experience working with hundreds of clients. I have included every lesson, exercise, worksheet, client example, and training module that has made a difference for me and my clients into this program.
We use my guidebook, Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse, as the roadmap through seven modules that address the critical areas of life that are impacted by abuse.
Feeling embarrassed and scared to talk about your past? If so? Then it's time to learn from experts on how to find courage, comfort and strategies.
Breaking the Silence Summit is a virtual 5-day event that will show you NEW and PROVEN ways to heal and and move past the trauma in your life.
Join us in the Breaking the Silence Summit: Healing Childhood Sexual Trauma hosted by Janine Naus. It officially starts on December 3, 2018.
Click here to register now -
#breakingsilencesummit
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
November 2018: Overcoming Nightmares
I used to have a recurring nightmare. I would wake up, or so I thought, and begin moving about, only to realize a few minutes later that I wasn't awake - I was still in bed asleep, but was partially conscious and yet could not move. I would struggle and struggle to lift my arm so I'd know I was awake. I finally would, only to once again realize I was still asleep and my arm hadn't moved at all.
This dream kept happening for months - not every night - but often enough that it was really having an impact.
One night, I finally woke up from one of these dreams but was so jarred that I ran to the living room and my then husband followed me. I was sitting in a ball on the couch asking over and over again, "Am I awake? Am I really awake?!"
Now, I'm not one to put too much stock in dreams and yet dreams can often be a gateway to understanding something that we've been missing, connecting to a part of ourselves, and for some, can give insight into things to come.
I was fed up with this dream, and so I decided to try to understand it - what was this dream trying to get me to see? I asked myself this question and others like, "What are the themes of this dream and where do those themes show up in my life right now?"
As I began to connect with this feeling of paralysis that came over me in my dreams, I started to notice how this feeling was also present when it came to my healing. See at this time in my life, I was only just beginning to deal with the fact that I had been abused, that I was currently being abused by my husband, and that I had to do something about it - but I didn't know what to do or where to start - I felt, well, paralyzed.
I won't say that this magically changed everything, but it did help me put into perspective what I was experiencing. And as I began taking steps towards healing, and definitely once I was divorced and out of that abusive relationship, these dreams became a thing of the past.
Today, if you are haunted by your dreams, I hope you'll take some time to consider what they might be trying to tell you!
Wishing you sweet dreams,
Now, I'm not one to put too much stock in dreams and yet dreams can often be a gateway to understanding something that we've been missing, connecting to a part of ourselves, and for some, can give insight into things to come.
I was fed up with this dream, and so I decided to try to understand it - what was this dream trying to get me to see? I asked myself this question and others like, "What are the themes of this dream and where do those themes show up in my life right now?"
As I began to connect with this feeling of paralysis that came over me in my dreams, I started to notice how this feeling was also present when it came to my healing. See at this time in my life, I was only just beginning to deal with the fact that I had been abused, that I was currently being abused by my husband, and that I had to do something about it - but I didn't know what to do or where to start - I felt, well, paralyzed.
I won't say that this magically changed everything, but it did help me put into perspective what I was experiencing. And as I began taking steps towards healing, and definitely once I was divorced and out of that abusive relationship, these dreams became a thing of the past.
Today, if you are haunted by your dreams, I hope you'll take some time to consider what they might be trying to tell you!
Wishing you sweet dreams,
Watch this video to learn more about we can learn from our dreams.
Read this article to learn more about the correlation between sleep disorders and trauma.
What are your dreams trying to tell you?
BOOK OF THE MONTH
Let It Rain: Inspirational Writings
by Rev. Christopher S. Times
Let It Rain: Inspirational Writings Is a book of poetry written by the author, Rev. Christopher S. Times, to encourage and offer a deep reflective searching of the meaning of struggle and resilience.
Chris is also a Comment Moderator in ourHealing from Sexual Abuse Facebook Group!
UPCOMING EVENTS
Bay Area!
I hope you will join me for this FREE live workshop...
"Taking Charge of Your Trauma Brain"
November 17th, 7p-8:30p PT
Oakland, California
I hope you will join me for this FREE live workshop...
"Taking Charge of Your Trauma Brain"
November 17th, 7p-8:30p PT
Oakland, California
- Explore the impact that focus has on our ability to heal from abuse
- Discover the #1 point of focus that is keeping you stuck and frustrated
- Identify the lies you are buying into that keep you feeling broken and unfixable
- Learn key strategies to retrain the brain, heal the nervous system, and put an end to PTSD
Interested in knowing how the experts are parenting their kids? Would you like to learn from them for free? Join me for Preventing The Next Generation’s #MeToo Stories, a FREE interview seriesfeaturing the BEST parenting tools and strategies from leading experts in the parenting and health education fields. I'm so thrilled to be a part of this series and to be joining with others in having powerful conversations about prevention.
October Topic: Moving Forward
As survivors of CSA, most of us are asked at some point, “Why can’t you just move on?” While there is such a thing as moving on, arriving at a sense of resolution only happens with the emotional work and only happens on our own time line.
Learn More & Register Here
As survivors of CSA, most of us are asked at some point, “Why can’t you just move on?” While there is such a thing as moving on, arriving at a sense of resolution only happens with the emotional work and only happens on our own time line.
Learn More & Register Here
Rachel Grant, M.A. Counseling Psychology
Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach
415.484.5682
www.rachelgrantcoaching.com
"What you think, you create"
Sunday, September 30, 2018
October 2018: Putting an end to codependency...
“A codependent person is someone who has let another person’s behavior change the way they think, believe, behave and act in order to make the other person happy at the expense of their own mental, emotional or physical health.”
~ Dana Zarcone, Founder of Source Your Joy
I first came across this definition of codependency back in February 2016 when my colleague Dana did a series on the topic for my blog.
As soon as I read that, so much of my life made sense! I was immediately taken back to my teenage years, when every boy who approached me quickly became my entire universe. Now some of that is just being a teenager, but it feels like the dial was turned up to a bit extra for me. Within days, this new person would become the center of my universe, and I immediately activated my chameleon powers to warp and twist myself into whatever I felt or was told would make the guy happy.
I remember at the time feeling the sting when it didn't seem to lead to the result I wanted more than anything - to feel deeply loved and known and accepted.
Fast forward to my 20s and the years I spent with in an abusive relationship with a person who would in one breath chastise me for being so malleable and having "no backbone" to being chastised for not falling in line.
Fast forward to my 30s when I was out of that abusive relationship and thrust back into the dating world after being out of it for ten years! Yikes! I was determined that this time around things would be different. I don't have space here to tell you all of the things I did to ensure that happened, but I will tell you one thing I learned that surprised me the most.
When I learned to courageously show up as myself, unwavering, authentic, just as I am and want to be, the quality of men who showed up in my life absolutely changed! And even more surprising was that in being this way, adamant that I would not sacrifice myself, do things that were at the expense of my own health and well-being, my relationships were stronger and I finally got what I'd been longing for for so long.
Of course, it makes total sense to me now, but for most of my life, I was trying to get at this from a very hurt, broken, and misinformed place. And the final surprise, all of those chameleon powers that in one form caused me harm actually transformed into one of my superpowers, making it possible for me to relate to and connect to a wide variety of people, which definitely plays a huge role in the work I do everyday!
Today, I love being in an interdependent relationship. One in which we are each our own individuals, yet we influence and help each other grow in loving ways, while maintaining our own loves and interests, and neither of us have to lose ourselves, rather we both get to remain as our full, whole, messy, beautiful selves and soak in the wonder of being loved just as we are.
This is what I wish for all of you to have in your life whether it be from a friend, family member, or lover. And I bet for some of you this may feel like a long ways off, so I just send you loving encouragement today to keep getting to know you and believing that that you is lovable, and powerful, and imperfectly perfect.
To interdependence,
me and my baby cheesin' it up
P.S. I know some of you may have expected me to write about the current political environment and the Ford vs. Kavanaugh case. I haven't here because I myself feel inundated with news and videos and opinions about this, so decided to not add more to the pile at this time. That said, I'm watching and I'm with you fellow community of survivors in you pain, outrage, frustration, sadness and whatever else you might be feeling!
Watch this video to learn more about what codependency is. Read this article to learn some of the surprising benefits of codependency!
What's one way you can take better care of you today rather than taking care of others at your own expense?
BOOK OF THE MONTH
But He'll Change: End the Thinking That
Keeps You in an Abusive Relationship
by Joanna V. Hunter
A survivor of domestic violence offers women the tools needed to work through the excuses they tell themselves that keep them in abusive relationships--and to make positive changes in their lives.
He loves me. He has a really sweet side. I am all he has. If only his boss wouldn't put him under so much stress. At least he doesn't hit me. He won't do it again. I can't do anything right.
In this compassionate book, Joanna v. Hunter helps women face, head on, the excuses they tell themselves that keep them in abusive relationships. Using expert advice complemented by her story and the stories of dozens of other women who have survived and turned away from domestic violence, Hunter teaches women to identify the lies they've accepted, understand what healthy thinking sounds like, stop taking the blame for their partner's behavior, identify power and control plays, and stick up for their own needs and plans for their safety.
With each self-defeating message addressed in But He'll Change, Hunter offers counter messages designed to help women build strength and hope. Readers will develop the tools to operate not as victims, but as survivors, understanding the power that they hold to change their lives.
UPCOMING EVENTS
MY VOICE AFTER #METOO
A 4-Part Master Class
Presented by Angela Rae Clark
A 4-Part Master Class
Presented by Angela Rae Clark
Pay what you can!
I am very pleased to share with you this opportunity to connect with my friend and colleague Angela Rae Clark.
This "pay what you can" four part master class will guide you in addressing:
* Why sexual abuse impacts our voice, literally and figuratively.
This "pay what you can" four part master class will guide you in addressing:
* Why sexual abuse impacts our voice, literally and figuratively.
* How your voice can become a tool in your recovery and help you gain momentum
* How speech patterns can keep us stuck
* What is the vagus nerve and how does it impact our voice?
* Tools that will interrupt the speech patterns and give our voice strength
If you have ever felt like your truth didn't matter, this class is for you. You will learn several practical tools that will help your voice be more powerful and help you release the echo of childhood sexual abuse. Your voice is powerful. Angela's personal story and recovery will inspire you to take steps with your voice.
Angela shares the tools and practices that helped her tell her truth of abuse and exploitation as a child when she was 42 for the first time in her life.
If you have ever felt like your truth didn't matter, this class is for you. You will learn several practical tools that will help your voice be more powerful and help you release the echo of childhood sexual abuse. Your voice is powerful. Angela's personal story and recovery will inspire you to take steps with your voice.
Angela shares the tools and practices that helped her tell her truth of abuse and exploitation as a child when she was 42 for the first time in her life.
October Topic: Sexuality
As survivors, we all have complex feelings associated with our childhood sexual abuse that interfere with sexual comfort, pleasure, and satisfaction. We will be exploring what we’ve found helpful in our sexual healing as survivors.
As survivors, we all have complex feelings associated with our childhood sexual abuse that interfere with sexual comfort, pleasure, and satisfaction. We will be exploring what we’ve found helpful in our sexual healing as survivors.
Rachel Grant, M.A. Counseling Psychology
Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach
415.484.5682
www.rachelgrantcoaching.com
"What you think, you create"
Monday, September 3, 2018
September 2018: That weekend when I dressed up like Britney Spears...
I spent this past weekend with one of my favorite people in the world in an all out Britney Spears themed bachelorette party. When I say full out, I mean, FULL OUT!
Each of the guests picked a different Britney to be. We each put a lot of love and effort into our outfits and the bride to be was over the moon with joy. She shrieked when we broke out in a flashmob to one of her favorite songs (which we ended up doing at every bar we hit up throughout the weekend!).
Now, the reason why I tell you all this is because when seven women dress up like different Britney's and hit the Castro District of San Francisco -- oh honey, it's on!
Now, I was somewhat prepared for the attention, oooo's and aaaaaaah's, and people wanting to take our pictures. What I wasn't necessarily prepared for was the level to which my ability to set boundaries was going to be tested.
Almost from the get go, people came up and would grab my arm to maneuver me into a position for a photo, demand that we pose a certain way, want to tell their entire life story to me or particularly the bride to be (she's "Circus" Britney - the one with the blond hair)!
At one point, one woman was being so intrusive that I had to pull her aside and tell her that I needed to get my friend home, that her saying whatever she wanted to say wasn't my priority, I love you as a human being, but you've got to step off!
This is one of the moments in my life when I was so so glad that I've done a lot of work to become comfortable saying no, making specific and clear requests of people, and feeling empowered to take care of me and those I care about even if people get their feelings hurt.
I promise you, had I faced these "boundary leaks" years ago, I wouldn't have known what to do and wouldn't have had the confidence and power to speak up.
As survivors of abuse and trauma, finding our voices and setting boundaries can be challenging, and I share this story with you to let you know it is not impossible -- and it can come in handy in some very unexpected ways!
To our voices,
Almost from the get go, people came up and would grab my arm to maneuver me into a position for a photo, demand that we pose a certain way, want to tell their entire life story to me or particularly the bride to be (she's "Circus" Britney - the one with the blond hair)!
At one point, one woman was being so intrusive that I had to pull her aside and tell her that I needed to get my friend home, that her saying whatever she wanted to say wasn't my priority, I love you as a human being, but you've got to step off!
This is one of the moments in my life when I was so so glad that I've done a lot of work to become comfortable saying no, making specific and clear requests of people, and feeling empowered to take care of me and those I care about even if people get their feelings hurt.
I promise you, had I faced these "boundary leaks" years ago, I wouldn't have known what to do and wouldn't have had the confidence and power to speak up.
As survivors of abuse and trauma, finding our voices and setting boundaries can be challenging, and I share this story with you to let you know it is not impossible -- and it can come in handy in some very unexpected ways!
To our voices,
P.S. If you missed my Master Class on "How to Set Boundaries & Communicate with Ease" you can get the mp3 download for just $10 now!
Watch to learn why good boundaries set you free!Read how abuse causes the brain to be wired for fear.
What is one boundary you could set today that would bring you more freedom?
BOOK OF THE MONTH
Releasing Your Authentic Self:
A Daily Guide to Help Child Abuse and Trauma Survivors Rediscover Themselves
by Svava Brooks
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live your life as the awesome person you used to be before child abuse and trauma shattered your world? If so, Releasing Your Authentic Self: A Daily Guide to Help Child Abuse and Trauma Survivors Rediscover Themselves is the tool you’ve been searching for. Child abuse teaches you to hide the real you (your authentic self). The exercises in this book were designed to help you release that incredible part of yourself. Finally, you’ll have everything you need to begin this amazing journey of rediscovery!
UPCOMING EVENTS
Join Me for This Free Webinar!
TAKING CHARGE OF YOUR TRAUMA BRAIN
September 19th, 9:00a PT / 12:00p ET
I am so excited to be teaming up with Frances Goodall from The Women's Wellness Circle to bring you this very special event.
During this interactive workshop and Q&A, I will share about the key turning point in my own journey when I realized I didn't have to spend the rest of my life in recovery.
With my guidance, you will:
* Explore the impact that focus has on our ability to heal from abuseDuring this interactive workshop and Q&A, I will share about the key turning point in my own journey when I realized I didn't have to spend the rest of my life in recovery.
With my guidance, you will:
* Discover the #1 point of focus that is keeping you stuck and frustrated
* Learn key strategies to retrain the brain, heal the nervous system, and put an end to PTSD
September Topic:
Special Guest, Donna Jenson joins us to
lead us in a powerful workshop!
Honoring and Using Our Voices
What we have to say is important. What we have to say is well worth being honored.
One way we honor each other’s voices is by actively listening to each other’s writing. This act of listening, in and of itself both confirms and affirms each narrator that what they have to say is worthy of our undivided attention. And when our circle goes one step further to tell the narrator what has stayed with us from a piece of writing they are given the profound message that their voice has been received and heard.
Come join us to discover what we each have to express in a timed and guided writing process and share what was written, if you so choose, within a supportive group of survivors.
One way we honor each other’s voices is by actively listening to each other’s writing. This act of listening, in and of itself both confirms and affirms each narrator that what they have to say is worthy of our undivided attention. And when our circle goes one step further to tell the narrator what has stayed with us from a piece of writing they are given the profound message that their voice has been received and heard.
Come join us to discover what we each have to express in a timed and guided writing process and share what was written, if you so choose, within a supportive group of survivors.
Rachel Grant, M.A. Counseling Psychology
Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach
415.484.5682
www.rachelgrantcoaching.com
"What you think, you create"
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