May 2019: If you can't say something nice...

Have you ever heard of "spontaneous trait transference"? Essentially, studies show that, because of this psychological phenomenon, people unintentionally transfer to you the traits that you ascribe to other people.

So, if I tell Nathan that Mark is arrogant and unreliable, Nathan associates that quality with me! On the other hand, if I say that Mark is funny and intelligent, I'm linked to those qualities.

What I say about other people sticks to me - even when I talk to someone who already knows me.

Furthermore, this impacts the trust and intimacy of our relationships and creates "false connections".

Brene Brown breaks that down in her podcast on "The Anatomy of Trust": https://podcast.app/dr-brene-brown-the-anatomy-of-trust-e56803367/

So, the next time we find ourselves wanting to say something critical, we would do well to be mindful that doing so greatly impacts how people see us and the health of our relationships!

I guess that old saying isn't so off the mark!!


You are powerful,

Watch this video to hear my take on how we can build trusting relationships. Read this article to learn how you can maintain intimacy in long-term relationships. What can you do this month to be more mindful about the words you use about others? __________________________________________________________________________ BOOK OF THE MONTH Passionate Marriage has long been recognized as the pioneering book on intimate human relationships. Now with a new preface by the author, this updated edition explores the ways we can keep passion alive and even reach the height of sexual and emotional fulfillment later in life. Acclaimed psychologist David Schnarch guides couples toward greater intimacy with proven techniques developed in his clinical practice and worldwide workshops. Chapters―covering everything from understanding love relationships to helpful "tools for connections" to keeping the sparks alive years down the road―provide the scaffolding for overcoming sexual and emotional problems. This inspirational book is sure to help couples invigorate their relationships and reach the fullest potential in their love lives. READ MORE HERE! __________________________________________________________________________ UPCOMING EVENTS May Topic: Authority Issues Growing up is difficult to do when the natural progression of developmental steps is derailed by childhood sexual abuse. As survivors, growing up ends up happening as part of the larger healing process we go through as adults, long after the sexual abuse is over. We’ll talk about what it’s like as a survivor to grow up later in later, to recognize “developmental delays” in ourselves, to connect these with the abuse, to go through the mourning, and to learn to become self-loving, empowered adults. Learn More & Register Here __________________________________________________________________________ Unifying Voices Against Violence & Abuse 24th International Summit on Violence, Abuse & Trauma Across the Lifespan September 4-8, 2019 San Diego, California Mark Your Calendar! Registration Coming Soon! __________________________________________________________________________ October 25-26, 2019 Orlando, Florida I am so excited to be presenting at this year's Courage Conference, which offers a unique opportunity to learn from survivors, advocates, and trained professionals through inspiring keynote talks and workshops. We connect attendees with reputable local and national organizations and make space for valuable connections. The Courage Conference is an ideal place for survivors, advocates, community leaders, and faith leaders to become educated about abuse from advocates who confront it and survivors who live with its effects every day. It is our goal that everyone leaves empowered to live the most courageous life possible. Learn More & Register Here