Many, many years ago, during a session with my therapist, I found myself sitting slumped down, defeated, exhausted --- I was so close to the end of my rope that he was concerned enough to ask me if I'd create a safety plan with him before leaving his office.
Begrudgingly I agreed, internally thinking, "Yeah right, like that's going to help."
We began putting together a plan that would keep me tied and tethered to this earth. After a few of the usual to be expected questions, "Who can you call if you feel like harming yourself? What is something you could do to self-soothe?" -- my therapist asked, "Would you be willing to spend 5 minutes a day practicing gratitude."
Not in the mood for any of is "woo" nonsense, I replied, "F*** off. You've got to be kidding me. What in the world do you think I have to feel grateful for? Sometimes I wonder if you even know what you're doing." (ouch! right? -- not one of my shining moments)
As he often did when I would lash out in this way, he took a deep breath and just sat, looking at me, letting me be, not rejecting or shaming or judging or correcting. And in that space, I felt my heart soften, and I said, "Okay, okay. If you think it will help."
For the next two weeks, I spent 5 minutes at the end of my day reflecting on the things I felt grateful for. And I have to tell you, I was really stretching in the beginning -- like, all I could connect to was feeling grateful for sleep, a funny TV show, being able to get out of bed.
But as the days passed, my sense of gratitude expanded, deepened, and I started noticing so much that I had in my life that I just hadn't been able to even seen because I was so consumed by depression and anger.
This gratitude practice saved my life.
Fast forward many, many years, and I'm now studying neuroscience and developing the Beyond Surviving program. I knew that this practice needed to be a part of my program, but I wanted it to be backed up by research -- add a little science to the woo. :)
In my studies, I came to learn that gratitude is amazing, because it ignites the brain stem and causes the release of dopamine, can boost serotonin levels, and ultimately creates a positive feedback loop that further heals the brain!
So today, I want to encourage you to incorporate a gratitude practice into your day to day. And I know you might be feeling just like I did - like there isn't anything to be grateful for. So I encourage you to start small, whatever feels doable -- and hey, maybe this email can be the first thing on your list!
In gratitude,
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