August 2018: What would you do if you saw a man being abused?

It's so important, as we continue to evolve the #metoo movement, that we consider the stories of male survivors. So this year, I've been making a pointed effort to speak to more men about the abuse they have experienced across the span of their lives. It's been so amazing to connect with Johnnie Calloway, who shared his story of being abused by his step-mom, Matt Pappas who talked about navigating the sometimes overwhelming journey of healing, Dolan Mayeda who explored how he overcame shame, and Patrick Bennet whowrote about his experience of being abused by a priest. Beyond that, I've read the many posts shared by men in my Healing from Sexual Abuse Facebook group.  I've joined forces with Male Survivors United to support them in their efforts to create safe spaces for men to come together in community. I also completed my second group program for men and was so inspired and blown away by the way these men came together and the powerful healing work they did. What has become clear to me is that we still have a lot of work to do to make sure that male survivors have access to resources, are taken seriously and are not ostracized or pushed to the edges of a movement that I believe needs to embrace all stories of trauma. This will require that we overcome our social biases towards men (check out the video below to see what I mean!). And while there is plenty of work to do, I am also encouraged to see more and more men coming forward, especially celebrities who are using their fame to open up conversations, such as Shia LaBeouf, Tyler Perry,Tim Roth, Junot Diaz, and most recently Terry Crews. If you are a male survivor and are looking for resources, please go hereand also feel free to reach out to me if there is anything I can do to be a support to you. For my female readers, I want to encourage you today to keep an eye out in your community for the men who may be silently suffering. We know that 1 in 5 men have experienced sexual abuse - so it's likely there is someone in your community who you have more in common with than you might think! Healing for all, Watch how people respond when a woman abuses a man in public Read 10 Characteristics of Emotionally Abusive Women What biases do you have about abuse based on gender?

BOOK OF THE MONTH The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist   This liberating book shows us that examining our attitudes toward money―earning it, spending it, and giving it away―offers surprising insight into our lives. Through personal stories and practical advice, Lynne Twist asks us to discover our relationship with money, understand how we use it, and by assessing our core human values, align our relationship with it to our desired goals. In doing so, we can transform our lives.   READ MORE HERE! UPCOMING EVENTS Join Me for This Live Master Class! August 29th, 3:30p PT / 6:30p ET   Are you fed up with feeling like a doormat? Are you so busy rescuing everybody else that you can't take care of yourself? One of the greatest impacts of abuse is we develop an inability to speak up for ourselves, ask for what we need, or honestly communicate what we think or feel about a situation. We feel compelled to conceal, to hide our genuine thoughts, feelings, and, ultimately, ourselves. So how in the world are we going to be able to set boundaries!? Boy have I been there! And I can't wait to share with you what helped me put an end to running away from communicating so I could finally set the boundaries in my life that were needed in order to feel safe, free up my time and energy, and finally break free of taking care of everyone else but me. BY PARTICIPATING IN THIS 60-MIN MASTER CLASS, YOU WILL: Gain access to two kick ass strategies that will empower you to speak up Explore in a safe step-by-step way the impact that not setting boundaries is having on your life and relationships Identify the actions you can take when someone doesn't respect your boundaries so you can feel safer and more confident Learn practical, easy to use strategies for how to put an end to taking care of everybody else   REGISTER HERE   August Topic: Trust & Safety Because the people we trusted as children ended up betraying and abandoning us, we often end up as adult survivors preoccupied, if not obsessed, with safety. We may live in a chronic state of hyper-vigilance, waiting and watching for the first signs of danger, and interpreting – or misinterpreting – events accordingly. Learn More & Register Here Rachel Grant, M.A. Counseling Psychology Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach 415.484.5682 www.rachelgrantcoaching.com "What you think, you create"

July 2018: How to make #metoo more than a hashtag?

A few weekends ago, I was in Tucson, Arizona - joined by survivors, advocates, and amazing men and women who are sharing their wisdom and healing modalities with others. The purpose of the conference was two fold: teach survivors tools, strategies to support them in their healing and to spur conversation about how we can move the Me Too movement forward, to make sure that it is more than just a hashtag. A local news station even came out to cover the event: I was so inspired by the other men and women who have been working in this field for 40+ years. I was also encouraged by the voices of the 20-somethings in the room who are fired up and full of ideas and spirit. There are so many layers to this issues, and yet there are very real, tangible things we can all do: On a personal level: Provide support and encouragement to the people closest to you. Share your story when it is safe to do so -- you never know who you might help and who you might help find their voice when you speak your truth. Speak up when people around you are using language that perpetuates stereotypes, male dominance, rape culture. On a local level: Bring people together in your community (including men!) to connect and explore solutions.. On a national level: Engage with your local and national leaders. My favorite tools for doing so are 5calls.org and Resistbot. At the end of the day, there are hundreds of ways we can participate in this movement, and I left the conference feeling inspired and clear that we all have a hand to play! More than just a hastag, Watch Victoria Steele (Arizona Legislator & Counselor who I had the pleasure of meeting at the conference) speak about how to put an end to sexual violence Read Monica Casper's (I also got to meet her at the conference!) article, "Toward a Theory and Praxis of Sustainable Feminism" What can you do this month on a personal, local, or national level to move the #metoo movement forward?

BOOK OF THE MONTH 10 books to read during the #metoo era READ MORE HERE! UPCOMING EVENTS SNAP Annual Conference A conference for Survivors of Sexual Trauma & Their Supporters Join Rachel Grant, guest speaker, for this epic event. #timetoheal July 6 & 7 Chicago, Illinois SNAP was founded in 1988 as a self-help support group for those who were sexually violated. This summer, they celebrate their 30th year supporting survivors, protecting children, and raising community awareness through education and advocacy. I'll be there to speak about how we can take charge of the trauma brain and move forward with our lives! Join the movement and share this post with your community #timetoheal #breakthesilence Learn more! July Topic: Trauma & Re-enactment This is an issue we all need to be aware of as survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Re-enactment is about the unconscious drive in all of us to master our traumatic experiences and triumph over the past. And it is possible to become caught up in behaviors that re-enact the experiences we had as children of dysfunction, poor care, exploitation, and shame. Learn More & Register Here Rachel Grant, M.A. Counseling Psychology Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach 415.484.5682 www.rachelgrantcoaching.com "What you think, you create"

June 2018: One of the best ways to practice self-love...

Last month, I encouraged you to write a letter to your younger self. It was so great to receive the feedback about the impact that exercise had for many of you! Today, I want to offer you another mini-practice that can further help us to heal the wounds of trauma. For so many of us, the people who we were counting on to nurture us, teach us how to love ourselves, were instead predators and abusers and failed miserably at this task. So, it is fair to be angry about this. To grieve this. And at the same time, we do not want to become mired in this. One of the things I work on a lot with my clients is learning how to self-nurture, how to give ourselves what we need, especially when we feel isolated or a lack of love/nurturing from others. Here are two ways you can practice self-love: Write a love letter to yourself! Buy yourself a card!  One of my clients recently did this, and I love it! "There is nothing on earth quite so special, as the love that I have for you. There's no feeling that i could imagine, so perfect, so precious, so true. It's as high as the world's highest mountain and as deep as the world's deepest ocean. There's no way on earth you can measure the depth of my loving devotion. Each day when I wake I am happy, it's a wonderful idyllic start. I know it will only get better for I'm bursting with love in my heart. I can't help it, I'm full of emotion so my birthday message is clear, you're the person I love very deeply, that's true every day of the year." In his words: "Why not buy yourself a card and put it somewhere to see? Every little nudge towards self-love and self-nurturing counts!" And I totally agree! At the end of the day, there are hundreds of ways we can practice self-love and self-nurturing. Whatever those negative voices might have to say -- you are worth it and you deserve it! To self-love, Try out this self-love yoga practice Read more about the benefits of self-love How will you practice self-love this month?

BOOK OF THE MONTH   The Badass Babe Coloring Book: 30 Lace-Inspired Designs with Empowering Words for Badass Women; A Positive, Uplifting Gift of Inspirational Self Love Quotes by Cosmocat It’s time to honor the most beautiful Badass Babe in your life – you! When was the last time you took a moment to appreciate your Badass Self? This coloring book is the perfect way to do just that. Unlock your creativity while you generate feelings of self-love and positivity! In this debut adult coloring book created by Cosmocat™, designs inspired by the traditional feminine craft of lace-making combine with empowering words for the modern-day woman to create a classic coloring book that is fresh, beautiful, hip, sexy, playful, fun, uplifting and inspiring. READ MORE HERE!   P.S. Guys -- even though this is technically for badass women -- I absolutely think you could dig this too! UPCOMING EVENTS #MeToo Moves Forward A conference for Survivors of Sexual Trauma & Their Supporters Join Rachel Grant, guest speaker, for this epic event. #timetoheal June 23 & 24 Tuscon, Arizona Together, we will heal as a community. Together, not in isolation or silence. Together, Rachel Grant, joined by other guest speakers, will #continuetheconversation in Tuscon, AZ this June for the #MeToo Moves Forward Conference. Join the movement and share this post with your community #timetoheal #breakthesilence   Learn more!     June Topic: Interdependence/Co-dependence As survivors, the line between interdependence and co-dependence can easily become blurred, and we can be drawn into relationship patterns that are unhealthy. This month, we’ll explore interdependence and co-dependence in our relationships with partners, friends, and/or family. Learn More & Register Here Rachel Grant, M.A. Counseling Psychology Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach 415.484.5682 www.rachelgrantcoaching.com "What you think, you create"

May 2018: What would you tell your younger self?

Dear younger self, I was thinking about you today and so wanted to send a little note to see how you're doing. I can see you now, sitting on the front porch steps, watching the kids playing in the park, staring off into space.  I remember how you used to love singing as you soaked in the afternoon sun. Your round cheeks and bright red hair that couldn't decide if it wanted to be curly or straight. Your strong legs from all of those hours on the soccer field. Youre goofiness and playfulness and quick sense of humor that always had people laughing. I know some of that is feeling harder to be these days. Life has become very confusing ... a simple thing like walking in your front door now carries with it a heaviness because he's there.  It breaks my heart that you don't feel safe, and I know you are wondering if there's ever going to be a way to escape this. I wish I could wrap you up and carry you away from there. If I could, I would create a space with all of your favorite things - peanut butter, card games, books, music from all around the world, and plenty of room to dance.  I know it's not much help to you right now and you most likely won't even believe me, but I promise -- something amazing is going to happen to you. Right now when someone says there is a meaning or a purpose you want to punch them in the face - and rightly so. Who wants to hear there is power in the pain, our pain is our purpose, when they are hurting!? But what I most want you to know is this pain is not a gift, it is not to be treasured -- but it is going to be transformed into something that will blow your mind! And I know - without a doubt - that life is going to become a wild journey that amazes you and that you are so grateful to be a part of. With all my love, Watch this video and get in touch with the power of your voice! Here's to living out loud. Read Julia Foucher's letter to her younger self. What would you like to tell your younger self?

BOOK OF THE MONTH   Life with My Idiot Family: A True Story of Survival, Courage, and Justice Over Childhood Sexual Abuse by Kathy & Gary Picard   Abusers get away with their crimes because the thought of confronting them—even through legitimate legal channels—can be a terrifying prospect for a victim. Yes, Kathy’s story as a victim is filled with years of sexual abuse and threats, but there are many more years filled with personal and professional triumphs as her life progressed beyond the physical and emotional reach of her abuser. Kathy is inspirational proof that good people can win, and that speaking out and fighting for what you truly believe in can help make this world a better place to live. READ MORE HERE!   UPCOMING EVENTS Now accepting applications for the upcoming Beyond Surviving Group Program for Women Starts May 10th Only 3 spots left! Learn more!     Attention! Don't Miss Out... Susan Yockey, my friend and fellow Transformation & Mindset Coach & Radio Host, will be hosting a FREE summit with 21 top experts, including myselfwho will be sharing with you the strategies and the exact “How To’s” for living the abundant life you desire, how to finally BREAKTHROUGH the limiting beliefs, self-doubts and fears that are hidden or blocked in your unconscious mind  and keeping you from achieving your goals in 2018.   Learn More & Register Here   THERE WILL BE NO GROUP IN MAY Learn More & Register Here Rachel Grant, M.A. Counseling Psychology Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach 415.484.5682 www.rachelgrantcoaching.com "What you think, you create"